In these past 4 years of my life I have moved out of my house, out of state and into a brand new life I had no idea was waiting for me, passed from teenager to 20-something, married the love of my life and realized a whole lot about myself that I never thought possible. 16, 17, 18, 19? I didn’t know jack squat. Man I thought I had a lot figured out but it was all leading up to where I am now. I have grown so much in the last 4 years and learned a lot about myself. One thing I know for sure is that I am so much more capable of doing what I set my mind to than I ever gave myself credit for. First thing that proved that to myself is moving out on my own, to a state where I didn’t know anybody and making it, paying my bills, putting myself in school and keeping a steady job (that I’m still at). Now that my life has been well established in that area, my mind has begun to wander into what other types of plans I can set. As you all know, reaching my fitness goals has become priority. I’ve always wanted to be fit, active and badass but never really knew how to go about it until I went to school to become a personal fitness trainer, lost 20lbs and very recently started focusing on building muscle and eating a lot better and utilizing my knowledge of macro-nutrients (and adding to that knowledge by consulting with my friend as well as reading up on www.bodybuilding.com).
Over the years I’ve tried to define life and what it means to me. That’s a really vague statement but it might be able to be summed up in a few quotes or lyrics that I’ve come across. To me, life is a one shot deal. No one REALLY truly knows what comes in the next life. Even if we did know, we were given this life to enjoy it, to live it to the fullest. To make goals, accomplish them and love what we do! That’s what lead me to the idea of competing in a bikini competition or at least to train for one as if I were actually going to compete. Waking up everyday, looking in the mirror in disgust and going about my day annoyed is not something I want to continue my entire life. I have struggled with my weight almost my entire childhood. I’ve never been super overweight but I was the chunkier kid in school and knew it. I never looked like a lanky 13 year old. I was rather rotund. I realized that but just didn’t know how to go about getting rid of the excess fat. I thought doing 100 crunches a day would help with that so I started doing Denise Austin’s ab workouts. It didn’t help much but it made me feel better and that little taste of endorphin high was ADDICTING. So ever since I was about 12 or so, I did what I knew (and thought) would help me out. Every New Year resolution was to lose weight and wear a bikini that following summer. I never really reached that point. Anyway, my point is that I’ve felt blah about my body for years and years and sometimes it over took my mind so that it was the only thing I thought about. It was constantly weighing on me and bothering me. That was part of my motivation to study personal fitness training. Once I started to learn the basics and then the ins and outs of how muscles work, what causes weight loss and what foods were the best to eat for whatever goals you have, I began to see the light. What that meant for me is that I truly can reach my goals. All I needed was a little bit of research, study and knowledge. Then that snowballed in to me realizing that this life is meant to be enjoyed and basically here I am, on the brink of doing what I LOVE. This year is the year of changes for me and I’m so ready. The title of this post is part of a lyric by Incubus’s song “Drive”. I listened to that song a lot this summer and although I heard it a lot over the years, it clicked exactly what he was saying, “Whatever tomorrow brings, I’ll be there, with open arms and open eyes.” Basically he’s saying, bring on tomorrow because whatever it is, I will be here on this earth, open to all the possibilities and adventures that the day (and life) brings.
As cheesy and cliche as this might sound, I’m a huge advocate of following your dreams. And I mean that. If it means you need to quit your job and travel to a different state or country to do what you love, do it. If you want to become an artist or writer and you find inspiration in the little things, take time for yourself to enjoy the little treasures in life. Travel and paint and write what you feel. There is no time in this life to be stuck at a job you hate or a town you dislike where you can’t glean anything from it. If you want stay at home with your kids, and that fulfills you (father or mother, it doesn’t matter), then you should do it because the most precious thing that you can give your kids is your time and they will cherish those memories and moments more than any toy you could ever buy for them. If you’re overweight and scared to step in a gym, conquer that fear and buy a membership to the gym because you can’t spend your life hiding away in fear or embarrassment. People won’t judge you in the gym. They will see you and think, “Good for them!!” because you’re taking life by the horns and making it what you want. And don’t let anyone look down on you or condemn you for your choices because this life isn’t for them, it’s for you and you deserve to make it exactly what you want and to BE HAPPY.
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